TLDR:
A healthy body image doesn’t mean you love your body. Learning the difference between negative and positive body image can help you move toward a more healthy body image. Acceptance, neutrality, and appreciation can be useful tools to improve body image.
Body Love
Are you tired of reading quotes about loving your body and not getting it? Do you wish you had a healthy body image, but can’t figure out what that is? You’re not alone! Body love is hard to achieve, and it’s not necessary to have a healthy body image. Let me explain.
Body love means that you have moved past acceptance, tolerance, and liking your body all the way to loving your body. While not impossible, it’s very difficult for a person in our society to truly love their body 100% of the time. It’s hard because we are exposed to thousands of images (edited, brushed, tuned, and/or AI-generated to look perfect) every day that don’t look like us. It’s also hard because we live in a world where weight stigma and racism persist.
How can we have a healthy body image if loving our bodies seems so far-fetched?
Negative vs. Positive Body Image
Let’s talk about the difference between negative and positive body image. A negative body image is when thoughts and perceptions about your body take up a lot of space in your head and lead you to spend excessive amounts of time on your appearance. A positive body image is the same as a healthy body image. This means that you don’t let your looks run your life; instead, you carry on with the things you need to do in life to be a balanced, whole person regardless of how your body looks.
In my book, I created a table to help you see the difference between positive and negative body image to help you understand what makes up a positive and healthy body image.
Signs of Negative Body Image | Signs of Positive Body Image |
Avoiding events because you don’t like the way you look. | Accepting your appearance as it is. |
Constantly checking the mirror to evaluate your appearance. | Wearing appropriate clothing for the occasion (swimsuit to the beach, shorts in the summer, etc.). |
Calling yourself names and participating in negative self-talk | Engaging in movement or exercise because you enjoy it, not as a way to change your body. |
Believe that rejections or failures are due to your body. | Gratitude and appreciation for your body as it is. |
Delaying vacation until your body meets a certain standard. | Refusing to compare yourself to others. |
Over-exercising and not listening to what your body needs. | Recognizing your worth, no matter what your body looks like. |
Weighing yourself frequently (more than once per week). | Recognizing the underlying issues that are manifesting as negative body image. |
You may recognize some of these tendencies toward negative body image in yourself, but don’t get discouraged! Focus on ways to incorporate more of the traits from the positive body image column into your life, like acceptance, neutrality, and appreciation.
Body Acceptance, Neutrality, and Appreciation
Body acceptance is an aspect of a healthy body image that allows you to accept the way your body is without trying to change it. None of us gets to choose our genetics. We have almost no control over our height or coloring. We also have little control over our body’s natural set point for weight.
When we accept these physical traits rather than trying to change them, we can focus on more meaningful things, like finding joy in movement, making friends rather than comparing, and focusing on school or work instead of worrying about what others think about our appearance.
Body neutrality is another way to cultivate a positive body image by seeing your body as neither good nor bad. It just is. You have a body to live in, and that’s that. Some bodies are beautiful, some are ugly, and some are in between. Some are tall; some are short. Some are round; some are angular. Some are soft; some are hard. Some are dark; some are light. Some are large; some are small. Some have scars, dimples, or blemishes, and some do not.
There are so many ways that nature can make a body and so many ways that our bodies can develop in our environment. It’s truly a wonder!
When you adopt the idea that your body is neutral, you learn to move past the need to change it. You can tolerate it—even accept it—the way it is right now. The idea is that you can take your body with you to enjoy life no matter what it looks like. For example, you can take your body to a restaurant and enjoy good food and good friends because it’s neither good nor bad.
You can fulfill my role as a parent because the way your body looks doesn’t stop me from being there for your children. You can wear the clothes that you feel comfortable in and the clothes that suit the occasion and weather because your body just is. Body neutrality allows you to get over how your body looks and get on with living life.
Body appreciation is another helpful tool on the journey to positive body image that helps you be more aware of the ways that your body is serving you. Many clients have made lists of things that they appreciate about their bodies. They may write down things like:
“I appreciate my legs for taking me around,”
“I appreciate my belly for carrying and growing a baby,”
“I appreciate my ears so that I can hear lovely music,”
“I am thankful for my heart that continues to keep me alive without me consciously telling it to beat.”
The more you look for ways to appreciate your body, the longer the list grows. Take some time to appreciate the function of your body over fashion. Using these ways to cultivate an attitude of gratitude toward your body really can change your perspective and help you be ok in your body.
In the end, most people don’t ever achieve body love. Instead, strive to achieve a healthy body image for yourself by steering away from a negative body image toward something more positive.
You can still find a positive perspective on your body through acceptance, neutrality, or appreciation. What has worked for you in your journey toward a more healthy body image?
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